Sea Witch with Gumption

Image by IsabelVilchez

Ursula! She has always been my personal favorite. My brother and I used to sing Poor Unfortunate Souls at family gatherings to much applause. But I digress...

I've heard that Ursula comes under some flack for being overweight. Not to say that I've heard people who think she shouldn't be overweight, I've heard opinions about how it's wrong to portray overweight people as evil... ?? Excuse me? Disney's first cartoon villain was the evil step mother queen in Snow White. She was evil to her core, and regal, and conceited, and she also happened to be like a size 2. Then there was the skinny B Maleficent. Then there was the toothpick Cruella DeVille. Do you see where I'm going with this? Ursula wasn't a villain until 1989, and Disney had been making movies about evil skinny people since 1937. No body types are inherently evil, because evil comes from within.

Besides, anyone can be evil from some point of view. King Triton banished Ursula and cast her out of his kingdom to fend for herself. Was he not evil in her point of view? Is Ariel not a naive brat that betrays her father and changes everything about herself for a man? Who's the bad guy here? I think the only good guy is Flounder.

Back to Ursula.

In a sea of boring mermen and maids, Ursula is the only interesting one to look at and listen to. Her deep, throaty voice resonates in her creepy cave. And she's got tentacles! Oh meh god! She was born with a gift for magic, which apparently is something that heretofore was only bestowed on King Triton. Blasphemy that this octopus woman should also possess it! She is banished from the kingdom, and called a Sea Witch. Anyone else might have given up, but not our Ursula. She is confident and smart, she can make her own way and get what she wants, no matter what some stubborn white beard says. That kind of ambition is admirable, and you know what else impresses me about Ursula? She seems like she could sell water to a whale and walk away with its blowhole too.

Example: "Oh, I've had the odd complaint, but on the whole I've been a saint.... to these poor unfortunate souls!"

Ariel doesn't want to hear about how those creepy weeds-with-eyes got racked across the proverbial coals, she came to mend her broken heart. Ursula, in true saleswoman fashion, plays up how those poor dears came to her, much like Ariel, and she helped them out of the goodness of her heart. True? Yes. It's a wonderful song, her sales pitch about how she can help Ariel for a small price. The people down at the mall should force their employees to study Ursula's selling technique:

First, she makes a pledge about her trustworthiness. She then offers examples of how past customers were very happy with the results of her product. But, since Ariel has probably heard rumors, the sea witch addresses any would-be concerns about why anyone would give her a bad rating. See? It was their fault, they wouldn't hold up their end of the bargain, there was nothing poor Ursula could do to help them anymore than she already had. You know what, though? Ursula is sure that Ariel will be perfect and get just what she wants. But, come on, kid, you have to buy now or there's no deal. Don't you want that handsome prince? Don't you want to see what it's like to have... what do you call them? Oh, feet. Come on, hurry, hurry, hurry; do you want to buy it or not?

And SOLD. Yes. Respect.

Back to the weight issue. Ursula makes two references specifically to weight in the movie. She motions to a magical representation of a chubby mermaid, and says she helped her get thinner. Then later on in the film, to assure that the prince is distracted and can't kiss Ariel, she makes herself super skinny. If she has the power to do that at a moment's notice, why doesn't she do it all the time? Because she must not want to! She likes the way she looks, down to her bright red, freshly applied lipstick! That's self esteem, ladies and gentlemen. May we all aspire to love the way we look, exactly how we look.

And of course, Ursula has a drop of crazy. What's a villain without insanity? She takes King Triton's power and immediately uses it to try and kill everyone. She's already won! She could rule the seas and gloat forever, but no, dammit! She's been waiting for this for too long and she's ready to take you all down, and make you pay! All rationale out the window, because she knows what she wants and she doesn't question herself. Unlike some of the more uptight Disney witches, Ursula wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty. That's why I love Ursula. She's got gumption.